2015 in Review

Tiptoeing into the second half of the last day of the year. What a year!

In my head, 2015 was another year of making the creative tradeoff between crafting and writing/reading, with writing winning out. However, it turns out I made 52 items in 2015. Holy crap, right? Especially since so little of that was documented on this blog; you'd be forgiven for thinking my sewing machine and knitting needles spent the year gathering dust, apparently this is what my brain thinks, too, despite evidence to the contrary.

Granted, that number includes items like panties (9) and leggings (4), but it also includes things like quilts (4) and handknit sweaters (4 - of which 2 were knit on size 3 needles!!) It also, unusually for me, includes a decent amount of unselfish crafting, including scarves (3), hats (1), hand warmers (1), handknit socks (1 pair), swaddling blankets (2), and 2 of the aforementioned quilts, as well as boring, functional stuff like curtains (a pair for me, a pair for a friend). I also seem to be doing a lot more functional crafting in general, stuff like tap pants (more needed!) and Watson bras (hate bra shopping!) and lounge pants. In fact, I rather miss my whimsical crafting days. I know we've talked at length about the merits of frosting vs. cake, but damnit, sometimes the frosting is just so much fun! Also, all my frosting seems to come out in summer in the form of frothy, impractical dresses (doubly impractical because Portland summers are so short) - which seems to give short shrift to the other nine months of the year, where practicality reigns. Mix-and-matchable garments in solids or near-solids somehow just isn't as fun as frippery and floatiness, it seems.

 

I commented awhile ago to Ali (with whom I like to swap bra FO photos via text message, which, if you haven't yet done so, is really one of the best kinds of texts to get - in vitro photos of course) that my writing/reading tends to go in small bursts, and I can always feel when I've reached the end of a burst when I start to get the urge to make something with my hands. It seems I find the tactile nature of crafting a nice creative rejuvenation for my mind. "Filling the creative well," as Julia Cameroon (or was it Twyla Tharpe?) might say. And then at some point, either my patience wears thin or my mind starts bubbling forth with new ideas, and I return to the writing and reading. Often I find I need to ease myself back into reading with something Decadently Unserious and frothy (hm, perhaps noticing a theme here with my crafting as well!) This year, I've read a great YA mystery series about female teenage sleuths in Victorian England, a brickload of mysteries in general, and am currently on a Middle Grade series about a 15 year old nanny governessing children raised by wolves. Yes to all of the above.

Which is not to say that 2015 wasn't a banner year for writing. This year I churned out a second draft of my book (bringing the total # of drafts up to 3), realized midway through the year that the book and I were at an impasse, whereby I placed it in the proverbial drawer and spent the summer being bitter and mournful about that. Ultimately, though, I think to what my best friend John says: If it's not the right time to write the book, trying to force it now may mean shortcutting from what the story was ultimately meant to become. Sometimes the problem is in the psychology of the writer, and I finally had to accept that I would need to grow into a new person in order to write the book I wanted to write. Which is frustrating and a wee bit heartbreaking (you know how impatient youth can be!), but ultimately, it's amazing what else you can let into your life once you let go of something that isn't working.

A statement that applies to both writing and life. At the start of this year, I quit a job that was in the same professional sphere that I've occupied for 5 years (and loosely, for another 4 years before that) so that I could create the temporal and mental space for writing. It's been a crazy, uncertain, and bumpy ride - and continues to be so, as I work out a mix of part-time activities that let me pay my bills sufficiently while still leaving enough juice for writing. It's been simultaneously easier and harder than I thought it would be. They say starting your own business takes twice as long and costs twice as much as you imagine, and I can definitively say, as a self-employed person: absolutely! But at the same time, for the first time in my life, I feel really centered and sure about the decisions I've made, and motivated as I've never been before to make this lifestyle work for me. I feared the uncertainty and instability of such a move, not realizing that the emotional certainty and clarity it would bring would create the energy to tackle the rest (due to no longer having to fight against myself so much). And as my old Japanese roommate used to say, slowly slowly. Twice as long and twice as much, right?

This fall, I enrolled in a 1-year writing program at a local non-profit that really embraces the DIY spirit. Our final project will be to produce a self-published book or zine of some sort. It's me and 8 other students with our fantastically supportive instructor, and I really feel like I've grown tremendously on this journey with them. Each piece I wrote and workshopped with them (1 short fiction, 2 creative nonfiction) has been a stretch that totally surprised me with what I was capable of, not just in terms of the technical aspects of writing, but also in terms of the psychological, emotional aspects. As though by letting go of the form of the book, I was able to begin tackling the content that eluded me for so long.

So that was 2015 for me, in a nutshell. When I talk to people, I constantly hear that 2015 was a weird, hard, bad year and that they're ready for it to be over. World and national events aside, I guess one way of looking at my 2015 would be to concur with the above statement. Certainly, I've probably never looked less "on track" than I do right now. And yet one of the unexpected side effects of quitting my job and jumping into the writing pool, for me anyways, is that I'm slowly coming to (imperfectly!) learn to embrace the uncertainty and impermanence of every part of daily life. Nothing will be here forever, and all cylinders of my life will never fire simultaneously. What I'm left with is a daily attempt to appreciate what I do have, to accept it for what it is instead of hating it for what it isn't, and to know that, no matter how good or how bad, it won't be here to stay. Live in the moment, love in the moment, feel the sun shining and be grateful for its presence, see the blue sky and be grateful to still have one's eyesight. And really, this privilege to be able to build my life around writing, at least for now, instead of shoving writing into the cracks of daily life? This incredible luxury to have sewn or knitted 52 items this year?

Wow. Thank you, life. Thank you, world. May I have the courage, serenity, and wisdom to face whatever 2016 brings. And may you too, dear friends. Happy 2016!

Slowly, slowly ... a little bit of sewing

Today I took a break from my regular schedule to kick back and do nothing.  Which, in my corner of the universe, seems to involve prepping sewing projects.  Self, really?  On the other hand, as I've mentioned before, I don't craft much when I'm writing, and sometimes I really just itch for a lovely dive into the tactile, beautiful, satisfying world of garment making.

Pictured above, left to right: the makings of a refashioned Archer (with a peek of my all-time-favorite Liberty print), a quilt for a friend, a summery Alder.  Grainline Studio appears to be my pattern company of the moment!

It was nice.  Nice to putter - slowly, slowly, never hurry never rest.  Nice to sink into the intricacies of cutting and ironing and prepping projects for the machine.  Nice to think about my friendship with the woman for whom I'm making the quilt (we go back to 14, which is over half a lifetime ago, eep!).  Nice to think about the coming season and what I'd like to make - not too much, a couple garments, enough for my evolving style, things that will work well in a streamlined wardrobe.

I used to feel this great big rush to craft.  Get something up for the blog, work my way through my stash.  In the last year or two, my financial situation has fluctuated quite a bit and so I now think of my stash as a lovely place to shop for fabrics that I currently can't afford to purchase.  (I do splurge now and again, but for the most part, stash shopping it is!)  Fabric choice really is important to how much I like the final product.  And I think that's something that sewing my own wardrobe, and my current slow-clothing approach to garment making, has gradually cultivated, namely an understanding of what is most important to me in the making process and final product.

In two of the financial management/simple life books that I own, the author talks about the "fulfillment curve" and finding that sweet spot that defines "enough."  For me, this question applies not just to money but also to crafting and the size/composition of one's handmade wardrobe.  Just how much is enough?  What elements comprise enough?  What are the pieces that bring me the most joy and satisfaction, are the most important to me, and how do I try to focus on those in the moments when I do spend crafting?  Given that my time for crafting is now somewhat limited, I find it increasingly important to hone in on these "high impact" areas.  If this hobby is going to be an escape, a creative outlet, a way for me to kick back and relax, then I'd certainly like to maximize my chances of finding just that when I do finally clear off my table and haul out my sewing machine.

After a good number of years and experimentation, I think I've hit upon the formula that (currently) works for me.  Quality fabrics in colors and prints that I enjoy, and that also play well with the rest of my wardrobe (a great way to avoid wardrobe orphans!).  Silhouette, style, and degree of ease that work well with my lifestyle and personal preferences (I hate tucking in my tops, which not only rules out certain blouses but also certain types of skirts and pants).  At present, patterns that are neither too fiddly/fussy nor too complex.  And there are certain types of garments that I enjoy sewing more than others (pants = ugh, dresses = yeay!) so I am perfectly content to focus on the ones that I like and then hit up the thrift shop for the rest.

And most importantly?  Take it slow and take it easy.  Part of this means thinking hard about which project I really want to tackle next.  Could I see myself wearing it once/week for the upcoming season or two?  Am I in the mood for something simple or something more involved, for a new pattern or to dig out a TNT, for fiddly fabrics like silk or easy fabrics like cotton or wool?  Part of this means accepting that I'm just slow - I probably crank out a finished object every month or two, and I need to be OK with that.  Part of this means working with fabrics that I absolutely love, which are paired with patterns that I'm either reasonably sure will be a good match, or else willing to leap into that hideous/fabulous territory that I seem to love so much.

And part of this means accepting that the current pared-back state of my wardrobe (which I actually quite love, and which really is not "pared back" at all when one considers how 90% of the world lives!)  My parents were up recently to visit, and my mom seemed a bit surprised that all my clothing actually fit into one closet.  Ha, I'm not that bad, am I?  I guess I am.  Was.  Whatever.  I guess this is part of locating "enough," too.  Some days I feel quite bored with the clothing I have on hand, but the flip side of the equation is that it only takes one or two new garments to suddenly make me feel like I have so many more choices and a nicely refreshed wardrobe!  Which is a great feeling to have.

Here's wishing all of you a beautiful spring, happy moments spent in your leisure activity of choice, and the permission to occasionally chuck responsibility and instead opt for that very thing that your heart, or soul, most craves ...

2014; 2015

2014 was an interesting year for me.  I started the year with the intention to take it easy.  Looking back, I'd say I succeed in some areas and failed spectacularly in others.  Which is fine.  Part of the point of the goal was to pay attention to exactly how I don't take it easy, and to try to find ways to change my habits or mindsets.  For instance, I stress out WAY too much about most stuff.  To quote dear Dad, "You stress out more than anybody I know."  And my brother, "And your way of stressing out is really unique.  Like, things that nobody else would even think to stress about."

So I figure, I've got some growing awareness and some new habits.  About something that's so fundamental to who I am, that I completely lack awareness about it until others point it out to me.  In my humble opinion, some new habits and increased awareness are actually a pretty good outcome for 2014.

In 2014, I started a new job with the intention to find a balance between work, life and writing.  I asked to work fewer than a full-time workweek to try to make that happen.  I booked myself into a nature preserve to read through my entire 1st draft in (close to) one sitting; after 100K words my brain rebelled, so whatever's in that lst 40K words, I hope it's either 1) not important, or 2) embedded in my subconscious!

And then, for the next 9 months, I stewed over the book.

You see, I'd spent 3.5 months in the fall of 2013 doing a pell-mell, sprinting, verbal vomit through the book.  Just had to get to the end, even if that meant I had sections that literally said "GIANT ARGUMENT HERE!!!  Revisit next draft."  That's fine - instead of getting writer's block on the conflict scene, jot a couple notes to remind yourself who's fighting and why, then pick up post-argument and keep going.  Literally, just get to the end.  The important thing is to create a full arc, even if the first draft has holes in the middle (that's what a second draft is for!)

Finishing a book-length piece is no small task.  But having trial-and-error'd my way through 140,000 words, I had no intention of using the same tactic the second time around (well really, EVER AGAIN, if I can help it.)

The second time around, I wanted to go in with an idea of where I was going and how I might get myself there.  Yet therein lay the problem.  Rereading my draft, I realized that I'd written about a bunch of things that happened, but unfortunately "things happened" is not a story.  A story is when you shape those "things" that "happened" into a beginning, middle and end.  When there's a larger storyline behind the things that happen, so that things happen for a reason, and certain things get left out because they're not relevant to THAT storyline, and other things get thrown in for foreshadowing, etc.

Basically, if we go back to the architecture metaphor, I had a bunch of building materials and no floor plan.

For the next 9 months, I tried different techniques to crack this nut, all borrowed from other writers, writing books, screenwriting, and even a design/creativity consulting firm.  The holy grail, and what you see pictured above, was to identify the 20-60 key moments of the book, identify the main "activity" of each, associated themes, characters involved, etc.  Storyboarding, where you draw 1 picture/scene, was super helpful (my ugly ass stick figures still make me giggle, how does one make stick figures so darn ugly?!?!  Heh.)  When you are as fond of words as I am, it can be easy to get lost in long, rambling sentences of "and then this was so important because of that, which actually loops back to this concept, which is really interesting because ..."  Whereas when you storyboard, you're forced to ask yourself: What is the single key moment that I need to draw, who's involved, and what action is happening between these characters?  Terribly useful.

Anyways.  This is all to say that in 2015, my writing goal is to finish a second and maybe even third draft.  In college, I used to scratch out 20 pages of notes in order to figure out what I was writing for a 10 page paper; if I had 20 hours to finish the paper, I probably spent 12-15 on the notes, after which the writing itself was easy.  I don't think this project will be QUITE so simple, but I'm feeling good about where I'm at.  I have enough structure here that this finally feels manageable.  Like I've got my arms around it.  Like I know what I'm trying to do.  Executing, and executing it well, is a different matter ;-).

More broadly speaking, I like picking a theme for the year, so this year will be about "perspective."

When I maintain a healthy perspective on my life, I find that I have a much better attitude towards everything - friends, family, work, writing, ME (you know, the things we tell ourselves about ourselves, etc.)  The challenge is figuring out how to incorporate that into daily life.  I don't know, folks - any thoughts or experiences on "operationalizing" this idea?

For now, I'm adapting an idea I read in Real Simple: each night I plan to journal four "celebrations": 1 big thing that went well, 1 small thing that went well, 1 work-related thing that went well, 1 personal thing that went well.  It's a bit like a gratitude journal, which I've used off and on through the years, but maybe this time the habit will stick.  I don't like to get too rigid about year-long intentions, as the weight of obligation tends to bleach my joy, but I've also thought about doing brief nightly readings of texts that I find insightful (like the Daodejing or The Sun Magazine).  My boss often listens to snippets of an audiobook by her favorite Buddhist guru.  I might give nightly meditation a stab.

Anyhow!  We'll see how all of that - writing and Perspective - unfolds in 2015.  Sending all of you warm vibes and happy thoughts for the new year!

(Want to know how 20th Century I am?  I took a pair of scissors to my first draft and chopped out the little bits - sentences, paragraphs - that I liked, and separated them into folders, each folder corresponding to a different chapter.  Then I took the stickies with the notes about theme, character, setting etc., and put those in the same folder.  Each time I write a new chapter, out comes that folder!  I'm positive they have a computer program for this, but it's working well so far.)

A Handful of Unblogged Handmades

A handful of unblogged handmades that got worn during May, in honor of Me Made May.  I was supposed to put this post up at the start of June, but life, you know how it goes.

L: Moss mini in green twill, and can anybody help me find my right arm?
R: Renfrew lengthened to mini, in organic dotty cotton.

Living in the Pacific Northwest, I’ve decided that the mini is pretty much the most versatile skirt length that exists.  Worn by itself in summer, or layered with tights and boots in the fall and spring, I could wear one for all but 2 or 3 months of the year.  Too bad neither of these are work appropriate, but outside of work, I really don’t want to climb into much else.  The twill has zero stretch, and that works really well for the Moss.  I cut a straight up size 6, which is nearly perfect.

Haha, no, I don’t walk around with my sweater falling off one shoulder (was that the 80’s?  Are we done invoking that look yet?)  I wanted to show off the little bit of self-made gray bias tape I’d inserted into the cuff of this self-drafted kimono tee, which I made using some STUNNING rose fabric that I bummed off Roo.  If you go back and read through the comments of her post, you’ll see my shameless – truly shameless – hinting.  Roo!  I’m so sorry I never got a chance to send you photos before now, my brother still has the photos he snapped, I’ve yet to see them!  But at least we can do matching-but-not from across the globe!  Used the steel gray to add a wee bit of edge to the blouse.  Ever so slightly.

A Simone from Victory Patterns in Thakoon cotton and self-made silk piping.  Swoon.  Isn’t Simone so luscious?  I really love Kristiann’s patterns – they’re so unique and fun, eye catching, easy to put together, and yes, 6 years late I am cottoning on to the preggers look, but hey, ain’t that the pleasure of sewing your own clothing, that you can be as far behind the fashion curve as you damn well please?

Since moving here, I’ve noticed my style evolving away from the classic-with-a-twist, quirky-take-on-modern-yet-vintage, color-plus-color philosophy that dominated my wardrobe for so long.  Don’t get me wrong.  I still have a number of those clothes in my closet, and because my former fashion personality was intent on a mix-and-match wardrobe, I can pretty much get dressed in my sleep and still walk out the door with a reasonably coordinated outfit.  But I find myself drifting towards a simpler, more modern look.  Less flashy, less fussy.

I think part of it is living in Portland.  There are some awesome indie designers, bloggers, and street trends in Portland, but the city as a whole is just not that into fashion.  Not in the way that San Francisco is, for example.  I also spent 2 months last spring living out of a single suitcase that held about a week’s worth of clothing, and then last fall I only had access to half of my wardrobe while the rest sat in boxes in Dao’s garage.  So there’s that, too.  Resetting the barometer – using less, needing less, wanting less.

I also think that I’m changing.  Clothing just matters less to me now than it did before.  I mean, ever since I was a kid, I’ve had my own very unique sense of style (LOL, did I ever!  Jessica (looking at old photos): Really?  You let me go out of the house dressed like that?  Mom: Letting you dress yourself was an act of love.)  But it occupies a lot less brain space than it once did.  Especially in my mid- to late- 20s, I spent a lot of time trying to pass muster in somebody else’s world, play by somebody else’s rules, and so I picked clothes that were distinctive yet conformist “enough.”   That whole time I used sewing and knitting as my creative outlet and source for individual expression.  But now that I feel like I’m living a life more congruent with the way I see myself, that need has faded from my life.  An external manifestation of an internal change.

At the start of summer, I'd every intention of refashioning a couple Archers, making a couple more Mosses, and living in those as my summer uniform, with a pretty sundress thrown in now and then for good measure.  I still have only 1 Moss and 1 Archer in my closet, and they get worn all the time (together and separate).  Something which might've bothered me in the past, but honestly now, it feels like almost enough.  I like to think that's keeping with the spirit of my 2014 resolution, take it easy.

To summer!  Hope yours is a wonderful one!

Unexpected Soul Baring

It's funny.  I had a couple potential blog posts in mind - cooking and food, giving you the 101 on a pair of really great breathing exercises, thoughts on style and closet purges and MMM - and here I sit, writing to you about perfectionism and self-esteem instead.

I guess I should back up.  In job interviews, I describe myself as a "recovering perfectionist."  (That always gets a laugh)  However, I'm also the person who thinks to herself, "Aren't I doing great with my perfectionism?  I'm now living by the 80/20 rule!"  To which folks have responded, "Uh ... if backing off means going for the 80/20 rule ... that's still setting the bar really high!"  Oops.  And I'd been so proud of myself, too.

I am also somebody who's spent her life surrounded by "success," in the American sense of the word - material success, professional success, and all the trappings that go with it.  To wit: around the time I turned 23 - and certainly before 25 - word passed through my high school grapevine that one of our classmates had just sold his company for $100 million.  "The first one of us to reach $100 million!" people said.  I'll pause to let those words sink in.  Note they carry the assumption that MORE of us will hit the $100 million mark.  OK, I went to high school in the epicenter of Silicon Valley.  The guys down the street started some tech company our freshman year and were rumored at a $2 million valuation by the time we hit senior year.  So having multiple classmates hit 9-digits, that's probably gonna happen.

And I'm no slouch.  I went to UC Berkeley.  I won a Fulbright.  I went to Harvard.  But somehow that whole area - Silicon Valley, San Francisco - has a way of pushing all of my insecurity buttons.  I never feel smart enough, pretty enough, cool enough, up-to-date enough when I'm there.  Maybe it's a function of trying to shed my adolescent skin in a highly competitive, conspicuously success-driven environment.  And because I'm a perfectionist, my instinctive reaction is to just bear down harder.  Work harder, try harder, do everything in my power to control every last possible outcome ... because maybe, through sheer elbow grease, I can pull it all together to Be Enough.

You know that new car smell?  I'm pretty sure new grads give off a similar scent.  There's something about our wide-eyed "I want to change the world!" that causes older, gruffer folks to roll their eyes and automatically discount the words coming out of our mouths.  Coming out of grad school, I must've reeked of it.  Higher ups often wouldn't take me seriously.  Wring those perfectionistic tendencies a little bit tighter - no really, if I just work a little harder, I'll get people to take me seriously! - and with every interaction they'd go tighter still.

Because working in the non-profit world, I'd never hit $100 million, man!  That meant that I needed to Do Good in the world instead, right?  To compensate?  Because that's what kids from the Silicon Valley elite ... the ones who go to Harvard ... do, right?  If I wasn't going to make the big bucks, then at the very least I could have my intelligence recognized by Making An Impact.  And not just any impact.  A big one!  With me playing a central role!  Ugh.  Is it any wonder I had a mini breakdown and came running to Portland?

One of my goals here is to develop a more balanced life, one where work matters less to me (matters less ... so that it can actually be a sustainable part of my life!), and one where other parts of my life come into greater focus.  Which is why I started laughing today on the way home from work.  Because in my current job, I have a fair number of interactions with Executive Directors, Medical Directors, Operations Executives and the like.  And if there's one thing about me and my lingering new grad scent, when you first meet me it's easy to mistake my naturally bubbly enthusiasm for idealistic ditzyness.  Generally speaking, the longer people know me, the more they realize, "Oh shit, I guess this girl kinda knows what she's talking about.  Sometimes."

So now that I'm in a job where I do a lot of first impressions and have little opportunity to strut my stuff, as you can imagine, my "let's-write-off-this-girl" hit rate has been decently high.  Which you think would bother me.  And at first, it did and then it really did, and I feared I was in danger of disappearing down the same hole I fell into in California.

Then something odd happened.  I got that reaction so often that ... I stopped caring so much!  Call it desensitization.  Call it a realization that these people are as limited as I am - how often have I been guilty of mislabeling an acquaintance under the wrong first impression?  (Including several of my best friends!  Jessica!)  Hey - maybe their perception spoke as much about them as it did about me!

I mean, intellectually these are things I've told myself all along.  But emotionally?  Truly feeling OK that other people don't think much of me?  And not having this instinctive need to wind the perfectionistic coils tighter and tighter, and fight harder and harder against these amorphous shadows?  But to instead laugh about it?  And not just laugh as in "haha, I will distract my angst with my laughter, thereby minimizing whatever emotional hurt is there," but laugh as in, "well!  That's rather amusing!"

I mean, gosh.  I'm pretty pleased with that.  This move, totally worth it.  Already.  Several times over.



Well, that's it for me for now.  Back in a bit, maybe on one of the three topics described above, maybe to ramble about something else!  Me Made May - the short answer is that I'm not participating this year, and feel pretty good about that decision.  It's just not where my attention is at the moment.  That said, I have been making stuff.  It adds a nice balance to my day.  A silk cami, a Moss mini, a gorgeously flowy summer dress ... maybe I'll get photos at some point for you lovelies!  In the meantime - I bought a bike!  *Does a jig.*  Spring is here!  *Claps hands.*  I made oatmeal-chocolate-chip-craisin cookies!  *Crams 2 more in her mouth.*  *Smiles.*  *Ignores dishes in sink.* 

*Smiles again.*

Happy 2014!

Hello hello!  I hope you're having a lovely start to 2014!  I spent the last 2 weeks with family in California, and can I just say - why is the sun so bright in California?  Haha, if ever I needed a sign that I've acclimated to the Pacific Northwest, I guess that was it!  Today I came back and popped out for a mid-afternoon run and found myself strangely pleased by the many shades of gray, the tall, dark trees, and the quietness on the streets.  Yes, the place for me.

Have you any resolutions this year?  In years past, I'd pile up a huge list for myself.  Usually more than I could count on one hand, and even if some small part of me doubted that I could even remember all those resolutions, never mind make progress towards them, I just couldn't pick one or two to focus on.

But 2013 was really an exercise in prioritization for me, and I'm planning to flex that muscle in my resolutions.  So this year, I've really only got one, although it's got several subcomponents, of the "it'd be nice if this happened' variety.

So in 2014, I resolve to ... take it easy.

Yep.  Taking it easy is not something that I do well.  Or rather, I did for the first two decades of my life, and then in my 20s I started making my own clothing, and when I began living on my own, I often opted not to outsource my daily errands/chores (like cooking meals vs. eating out), which took up a lot of time as well.  Add in work, seeing friends, exercising, writing, commute times, massive guilt over building fabric/yarn stash = rush to keeping making and making and making ... yeah.

I distinctly remember this one Sunday evening, I'd waded through my 13-item to do list all weekend, and I thought, "Well, it's 7PM and I've got 4 items to go.  Great!  If I allot 45 minutes to each, I can still get in bed at 10!"

And then I thought: "Am I crazy???  That sounds like a terrible way to spend Sunday evening!"  So I bargained with myself.  "How about you only do 3 of those items?  Give yourself a little break?"

LOL.  How about you do NONE of those items and kick back for a couple hours, woman? 

And I wonder why I had a breakdown earlier this year.  So anyhow, prioritization in the name of Taking It Easy is the name of the game.  Some ways I'd love for this to play out:

Internet-free Sundays.  This sounds crazy, but the Internet makes me kindof jittery.  I don't feel like I actually unwind until I've unplugged from it for a good stretch of time.  Here's hoping I can regularly stay off the Internet once/week!

Only check email 3x's/day at work.  Seriously.  Are you one of those people who obsessively clicks on the little "message" button every time a new email comes in?  I know I'm guilty of this.  It leaves me feeling frenetic and harried and exhausted as I try to switch back and forth in mental concentration.  Enough!  Batch process the emails, Jessica, and get on with it.

Get out for a walk once/day during the week.  I used to be really good about this, but stopped in my last job (probably because I was doing 2.5 people's work).  Even 10 minutes makes a huge difference!  I relax, the air and exercise feels good, and work woes get put into perspective.

Gratitude mantras.  This is a bit New Age-y, but when I start my day by longhanding out a series of mantras, I really do approach the workday with more perspective and less OMGthisislifeanddeath.  Simple things like, "I am lucky to have a job that makes use of my skills and training, with people I like ..."

Make fewer things.  I've really enjoyed my sewing break this fall!  And I think I've finally come around to viewing the stash NOT as a guilt trip, but as the opportunity to work with beautiful colors, nice textures, and fun materials ... whenever I get around to them.  I also find that when I'm making a lot, I tend to want a lot.  Sometimes, when we only add a couple new items into the rotation each season, it helps us cherish them more and cultivate a less-is-more mentality.  I think.  2014 will be the test of that theory!

Anyhow, wishing you all the best this January!

Of Late

So.  Where the heck did I disappear to and what's been going on behind the scenes?

Life
I quit my job and moved to Portland OR.  Was it terrifying to pick up for a new city where I had very few friends and no job waiting?  Absolutely.  But I was stuck, stuck, stuck in California, and I finally decided that if, at 30, I let my fears of what might happen stop me from doing what my intuition told me that I needed to do, well, then fear would increasingly rule my life.  I don't imagine life-changing decisions get easier to make as one gets older.  Facing down your fears is a bit like a muscle, it's gotta get flexed now and then or else it atrophies.  So here I am, nearly 2 months in, and every day I wake up and am glad I did it.  Yes, there are terribly lonesome moments, and also periods of great uncertainty (do I really think I'm going to find a job?  The economy is still shit and Portland is a tiny job market).  But it was what I needed, and I'm glad I did it.  Even if Portland itself doesn't stick, and I wind up moving someplace else (or moving back to CA), it was the step that was right at the time.  I think this city is going to stick, though.

Sewing
At the end of 2012, I decided stashbusting was my top priority for 2013.  I was tired of looking at stacks of fabric and feeling guilty for not using it; some people might look at a stash and see potential, I look at it and see obligation.  Seriously.  It weighs on me that I haven't sewn things up, or fast enough, and I wind up tackling projects not out of joy or inspiration, but out of this feeling that I gotta get through C, D, and E on the list so that one day I can maybe work it all down and stop feeling guilty.  Craziness!  So I culled 4 bags of fabric and donated them to a scrap reuse store, sent bundles off to friends both local and international, and then got to it.  Unblogged (and possibly never-will-get-blogged): 2 knit dresses, 4 woven dresses, 4 blouses, a PJ set, and miscellaneous household items.  And oddly enough, I haven't sewn a stitch since getting to Portland.   My machine's out, but it hasn't felt right.  I'd like to make myself a couple mini skirts for fall/winter, but we'll see if that happens.

 

Knitting
I shall always think of 2013 as the year I went crazy making socks, and the year that my friends decided to start having babies.  Who knew baby clothing was so fun to knit?  An entire garment out of a single skein of yarn?  Mind boggling.  Throw in a couple hats, finishing up an odd sweater or two, and you've got my year in knitting (to date).  Somehow, sweaters for me just feel less compelling at the moment.  I guess I've already got a little stack of hand knits that I cherish, although every time I look at colorwork, I think that I'd really love to make a colorful, intricate, fair isle sweater or two.

Other creative endeavors
I'm writing a book.  This is not one of those jubilant "I got a book deal!" kind of announcements; ever since I could read, I knew I wanted to be a writer, and finally, 25 years after my first realization, I woke up one day and realized I was ready to get on with it.  A writer is somebody who writes, regardless of whether or not they are ever published, and so I am writing the book that I wish I could have read when I was younger.  I'm taking advantage of my free time in Portland to spend lots of time thinking and journaling and freewriting and shitty first drafting and excavating notes and ploughing through old drafts.  It's exhilarating and discouraging, all at the same time, but I have never regretted the decision to take the time off to invest in this project.  I spent a lot of my 20s crafting as a way to avoid writing, but looking back, I don't think I was personally ready yet to really dig in and write, so the way I see it, I gained two incredible skillsets in the process of becoming ready :-).


What now for this space?  Not sure.  I never claimed it on Bloglovin' so I'm guessing about 3 people will see this, but likely it will be the 3 bloggers that I absolutely adore (just kidding, there are more of you that I adore, but you know what I mean!  I feel lucky to have gotten to know some really cool people through this blog!).

When I decided that I was really going to get serious about writing and not go crazy, I knew I'd have to jettison other things from my life.  Writing, personal relationships, and work (when it comes, gotta pay rent!) go at the top of the list, which means crafting falls somewhere below exercise and cooking, although I know I'll never give it up completely.  (If you're curious, writing and crafting used to be inverted!)  I find there is no better way to unwind from a hard week than to put on a couple episodes of Masterpiece and sew/knit a garment.  Maybe this will just become a regular blog - you know, documentation of life, with extra musings on creativity and creative endeavors.  Or maybe it will just fall away.  I do miss this community of people, though, so I guess we'll have to see where life takes us.

One step at a time.  Which is all we can ask for, really.

Anyhow, I hope you are all well and experiencing a good Fall!

 

2 FOs; Ali sighting; Treat Yourself

First finished sweater (and handknit) of the new year:

 

Fiber #58 :: Andi
Pattern: Chuck
Yarn: Cascade 220, a shade my mom calls "more brown than yellow" in response to the "Asians shouldn't wear yellow!" that I keep throwing around.  I need more mustard in my life like I need more handknits, but hey, it's a gorgeous pattern and I love it.  (Color on the right is more true to life)
Mods: added an extra cable twist, lengthened pattern to hit at high hip, used 2*2 ribbing instead.

I took a hard look at my handknit sweaters and realized the ones I wear most often are long sleeved, unfussy pullovers, and in colors that match everything else in my wardrobe.  So I decided those were the types of sweaters I'd knit more of.

And a skirt to go with it.

Pattern: Simplicity 2451, again
Fabric: Liberty twill Mirabelle, plus leftover red piping
Mods: shortened at hip and skimmed some of the curve out of the hipline, added a Rayon bemberg lining.  This skirt was meant to be piped!

Also, for those of you dying for your Ali fix, rest assured, she's still alive and kicking.  Late in 2012 I asked if she would be willing to do a swap, a handknit hat in exchange for a couple Renfrews.  I think I came out ahead, check out the stripey beauty she made me!  (Erg, the hat is awaiting a second skein, via Ravelry, to be completed).  Ali and I wear roughly the same size, and sometimes when we grow out of enamorment with our own handmades, we'll do a swap.  We had a stripey exchange, one might say!

Over the holidays, my brother and I took a quick jaunt up to Portland for a couple days.  The city is on both of our "maybe, someday" lists and we thought it would be fun to treat ourselves to a bit of a relaxation.  We found a place to stay through Air BnB - which I highly recommend - and opted to use Portland's public transportation the entire trip - which I do not recommend, not in winter, at least.  There was a lot of waiting for buses in the rain.  However, if I had to do a lot of waiting for buses in the cold, cold rain, there is nobody I'd rather do it with!

We napped.  We cooked.  We spent a lot of time in cafes.  I knit and read and wrote and dreamed and journaled and people watched.  We stared off into space.  We took a ridiculous number of "use iPhone to take pictures of self" photographs that we then had way too much fun hipster-izing with Michael's phone's editing tools.

Michael really likes the show It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, and during the trip he told me about one episode where the characters decide to treat themselves for the entire day.  I haven't seen the episode, but apparently it involves people running around in Batman costumes, increasingly ludicrous scenarios (as seems to be the show's mantra), and a whole lotta "TREAT YOURSELF."  So, that was the motto of our trip, too.

Jessica (in fabric store): Hm, that's kind of a lot of fabric.
Michael: Jessica?  TREAT YOURSELF.
Michael (reaches into wallet): Here, I'll treat you to this one.  *Hands me bill, pats topmost bolt.*

Michael: Fake Moleskine?  Real Moleskine?  I came here to buy the fake one.
Jessica: TREAT YOURSELF.

Jessica: Should I get that flourless chocolate cookie the size of my head?
Jessica: You know what, I should really TREAT MYSELF.

So ... I treated myself this holiday season.

Some Liberty and Sewaholic patterns.  Will 2013 be the year I finally tackle pants?

Some Cake and organic jersey.  Trying not to go too crazy in the knits department, but it's so tempting ...

A yummy new pattern, and some stash yarn.  My latest attempt to control the yarn stash is this rule: for every project I take on with new yarn, I have to complete a project using stash yarn.  Now, some of the stash projects are hats, which is not as stash busting as, say, a sweater, but I will take all the help I can get.  Perhaps I should extend this rule to fabric, too.  Anyways, I used my Christmas money to splurge.  Usually I use my Christmas money to buy boring things like groceries and pay for electricity and such, but this year I figured, it's been a long year honey.  TREAT YOURSELF.

Since this is not exactly a sustainable trend (Christmas money comes but once a year!), I started thinking about the small ways I like to treat myself.  I find it hard to walk that line between frugality and, well, misery.  Sometimes I feel guilty that I am indulging too often in 'simple' pleasures of the non-free variety, but other times I remind myself that it's important to be nice to yourself.  Maybe it's just a question of degree.  Anyways, here are some of my little indulgences.  I figure it's never a bad thing to have a list like this to turn back to from time to time.

Naps. Better still, two in one day!

A skein or two of tasty yarn.

Fresh berries in summer. A basket of fresh figs in fall. Heavenly!

Sunday afternoon meals that take 2-3 hours to prepare. Even better is when I clear my plate for the evening as well, so that I'm not rushing around but can linger in the kitchen.

Decaf lattes. Don't laugh, I know that defeats the purpose of the espresso in the latte! I can't do caffeine, but every once in awhile I will hop into a coffee shop and ask for a decaf. It always makes me feel ridiculously indulgent to do this, probably because I take the opportunity to linger in the cafe, do some people watching, or pull out some knitting, my journal, or a book. Ah, unstructured personal time, what bliss.

Filling a large glass half full with ice, topping it off with a fizzy drink, squeezing in half a lemon, and climbing into the tub for a good soak.

What about you?  What are your small indulgences?  I figure it never hurts to have more ideas for this type of thing!

Year in Review

(2012: the year of involved knits)

2012.  I think of this as "the year of going with it," in that I started off 2012 bound and determined to make some changes, and gradually realized I was in a place in life where fighting was counterproductive, and that when I started going with the flow, things started straightening out.  I'm feeling the itch to tackle 2013 with a little more vim and gusto, and this reminds me of my experience reading The Alchemist, where the narrator talks about reading signs and that your heart already knows what it wants, if you will just listen.  "Yes, but what am I supposed to listen FOR???" was my biggest question.  I feel like my life has been one long list of red herrings, but maybe going through life involves learning to separate the wheat from the chaff, otherwise known as the acquisition of wisdom.

(2012: the year of yellow)

I do think that 2012 ended up in a good place.  One of my colleagues at work says that 2012 is the year she got married, got a new job - "It's been a real dragon year!"  (In the Zodiac, we are in the year of the dragon)  Well, next year is the year of the snake, and I'm optimistic that it will be a good year for me.  Truthfully, I'm more of a snake person than a dragon person.  Most people, not surprisingly, have poor associations with the snake, but according to my dad the snake is just a less glorified version of the dragon.  Think of him as the dragon's less flashy, more down to earth little brother.  And you know what?  I think that's me.

(2012: the year of handknit hats)

2012 highlights:
*Started a new job
*Presented at the American Public Health Association's Annual Conference
*Got my own IMDB page for the wardrobe/costuming work I did on a short film
*Visited Korea, China, Boston (twice), Portland, Mendocino, Baltimore
*Knit 8 hats, 4 sweaters (1 of my own design), 3 scarves, and crocheted 1 scarf (1 hat + multiple scarves unblogged)
*Sewed 1 skirt, 4 dresses, 1 tunic, 4 blouses, and a handful of home decor items (1 dress still unblogged though you can see a sneak preview of one of them at the very bottom of this post!)

(2012: the year of the Sorbetto)

I think of 2012 as a year that was more about internal change than external accomplishments.  Professionally I did a lot, but at a price.  Someone once said that when on their deathbed, most people value 1) learning to love others, 2) growing in wisdom.  I feel like I spent a lot of my 20s alone, often because I was trying something new and therefore stepping into new environments in my quest for understanding, wisdom, and to satiate my intense curiosity.  I do feel that I am very comfortable with solitude, that I know myself quite well, and that I am starting to satiate my curiosity about the world.  And so, it is time to start focusing on #2.  I'd like to spend my 30s on just that, and maybe I can even kickstart it in 2013, while I still have 1 year left in this decade, during the year of the snake, perhaps not my personal Zodiac year, but one which might just suit me better than the dragon, at least.

(2012: the year of dresses)

In defense of the Luddite

I suppose it is fitting to pen this over Thanksgiving weekend, a holiday which started out as one of gratitude (I won't go into a cynical historical take on it) and has, of late, morphed into a long weekend characterized by frenetic bargain hunting.  It was one thing when they dubbed the Friday after Thanksgiving "Black Friday" and started encroaching on the holiday weekend with megasales at ungodly hours of the morning, it's another that they're creeping into the day itself.  I mean, heaven knows we are a country filled with dysfunctional nuclear and extended families (mine is certainly not exempt), but could we at least take a stab at this whole "family" thing even once a year without hiding behind the football games running on multiple channels, the shopping, and the annual onslaught of new movies?  I should talk, I ducked out on my extended family entirely this year.  But!  I did see plenty of my parents!

(I'm making quilt blocks for Sandy)

Lately I've been thinking about consumption.  Not so much material consumption, though that's what I opened with, but about the media that our minds consume.  I remember the summer after my junior year in college I subletted an apartment in Berkeley because I had an internship in Oakland, and though I spent my days locked to the computer to complete my internship tasks (and discovered, in my boredom, the joys and perils of eBay), by night I had no Internet access and spent the time reading on the couch, at my friend's around the corner, going for a long run and then cooking up a late dinner, or wandering in and out of book shops.  I remember thinking that my brain felt different when I gave it a break from the Internet.

Through the years I've struggled to give myself this same sort of structured "off" time for my brain.  Especially when the Internet is right at our fingertips, and we use it for so many things - communicating with farflung friends, looking up a recipe, hunting down photo instructions for the kitchener stitch because we are too lazy to remember it ourselves (ahem), or just noodling about in search of artistic inspiration.  Or, dare I say it aloud, in search of a way to pass the time.  I've gone so far as to swear I will regularly designate a couple weeknights "computer free" only to fall flat after a month or so.  I've even tried foregoing Internet in my home, but that's always turned out to be far more inconvenient than I've anticipated, and it too falls flat within weeks.

(These all need a dark border, I might try to add them all at once?)

In my whole recent bout of lethargy, one silver lining that has emerged is an increased awareness of my body and my mind.  There are days where I come home and I am so mentally exhausted from work that, physically, there's not much I want to do except climb into bed at 7:30 and shut down for the night.  Gradually, though, I realized it wasn't that I was tired from work persay, rather I was tired from processing all the inputs my mind had received from the day.  This included the music I listened to on the way home, the business show my parents like to watch after dinner, even the newspaper I skim in the mornings.  And if I consciously blocked those out by driving to and from work in silence, eating breakfast without a newspaper, or disappearing into a different corner of the house when my parents tuned in to the latest doings on Wall Street, my brain started hating me less.  And yes, this includes blog reading, which I have now attempted to limit to a weekly occurrence.  That, I've noticed, makes a big difference, and I apologize if I've been commenting less frequently on your blog but at least you know the reason now!

What interests me is that when I limit the inputs to my brain, I find more space for creativity, as though our mind has limited capacity for both consumption and creativity, and thus doing more of one decreases what's available for the other. Or mabye it is that consumption and creativity lie on opposite ends of the spectrum, and a shift in one direction decreases our orientation towards the other. I'm sure it is not a perfectly diametrical relationship, as much of creative inspiration can come about by consuming the ideas and works of others. But it seems that, as with many good things in life, moderation may be key.

If forced to choose, I prefer the way my brain feels on this diet of decreased consumption and increased creativity, to my brain overwhelmed by sensory and data inputs.  I recognize this is not an ideal way to live, as smartphones and the Internet have brought a lot of time- and monetary- savings, not to mention new economic and even political opportunities, to millions.  And I still find consumption addictive, as it is so much easier to sit in traffic and listen to music, than to check in with my body and realize that I crave silence right now, and then turn off all inputs and sit in - how boring! - complete silence. Often, I do a round of channel switching to gauge my options (often lousy), before succumbing to the silence. Sometimes, I confess, I just keep the radio on. It is still a balm of sorts, after all.

But will the world let me?  There's Facebook and Twitter (which I have sworn off), there's hundred of news aggregation sites and CNN running 24/7 and more and more of us sharing more and more of our lives online for others to read, and even shopping has a similar effect on me (so many choices to process, sensory overload).  This year, half of Americans have a smartphone, which makes me wonder how much longer I can hold out.  Because if the car radio has taught me anything, it is how imperfectly I withstand the everpresent temptation.

I seem to have hit my personal limit already.  For others, who knows?  It took me going on a pretty strong 'activity diet' to cultivate this awareness (half a year ago, I spent a series of weekends doing nothing and seeing nobody, and by now I have 'improved' to the point where I can safely schedule myself for 1-2 events each weekend without any adverse health consequences, but not much more than that).  And I'm sure we all have different thresholds, ones that vary not just by personal preference but also by personal circumstance.  This is a worldwide shift, and possibly I am just reacting to change just as generations before me have done, arguments whose terrain has been documented in history books as the rise and fall of the tide to the pull of the moon.  Learning to mediate the rift between societal change and personal preference, though, is a lesson I have yet to find in my school books.

Outfit post: summer dress into fall (plus some ramblings)

Around this time of year, the weather around here vacillates between summer and fall.  The San Francisco bay area is notorious for its Indian summer come September and October (really, the best time of year to visit the area), but between the fog and the shortening days, we also have our share of cooler days as well.

Awhile ago I commented to Scruffy Badger that my wardrobe planning/purchasing/making tends to go by my rules of "5"s which are my personal guidelines for a wardrobe that is cohesive, functional, minimal "enough," with a little room for spontaneity.  Will I get $5/wear out of this?  Does it go with at least 5 other items of clothing that I already own (items in the "to make" list don't count)?  Can I wear it through 5 months (or 3 seasons)?

This outfit is a classic example (wouldn't it look great with a skinny mustard belt for a wee bit of color?).  I try to make or buy summer dresses that can also layer into spring and fall, and if I can't think up at least a couple ways to layer a summer dress so that it can bleed into the months that bread-end summer, I don't make it.  I call this my "eager intern" blazer because I thrifted it while sourcing wardrobe for a short film I was working on, and though the actress who played our eager intern didn't wind up using it, I kept it in my wardrobe because it was a neutral, cropped (therefore pairing well with dresses), and a bit funky.  For me, I find that a few carefully selected layering pieces can go a long ways.  Cardigans, little jackets, leggings or tights, scarves and boots all fall into this category, and really, you only need 1 or 2 of each.

This morning as I lay in bed I reread parts of Your Money or Your Life, and just as I reached the part about "enough" and the peak of the fulfillment curve I happened to glance up at my open closet, and I thought, "I have a nice closet of dresses.  Most certainly enough."

(As an aside, it's interesting to note the composition of this suite of dresses.  5 are handmade, 5 come from China, 3 are thrifted, 1 comes from a boutique in Oakland, and 1 was handmade by an Etsy seller.  I am fine with this ratio.  Also interesting, for somebody who doesn't claim to like black very much, I have a lot of black dresses.  Brown and red/orange, too.  What's funny is that my favorite color is blue.  I'd love to add yellow or purple into the mix.  Is 15 too many summer dresses?  Probably, but I'm OK with it.  By the end of next summer, I imagine at least 2 or 3 of these will be gone from the mix.)

Now that my crafting mojo has returned, I have this impossibly long list of makes that I've been itching to get at, but this morning I realized that really, I don't need most of them.  And the mental stress of ploughing through the list doesn't seem very satisfactory, somehow.  This is even more true come fall, since between my love for knitting sweaters and making/refashioning skirts, I already have more than "enough."

So I lay down the book and mentally reevaluated the list to winnow out the "lark" projects and focus in on what fit that sweet spot of wardrobe "gaps" (taking the word loosely) and projects that excite me.  The list is now about half as long, which feels good.  Yes, I still plan to knit sweaters and sew skirts because those are my indulgence handmades, the things I love to make and thus will not deny myself because we all need a couple indulgences in life.  Just not quite so many. 

Scenes from a weekend in Baltimore

Last week I had a conference in Washington DC, so I took a half day Friday and spent the weekend in Baltimore with some friends.


Cherry blossoms were out.

Checking out constellations with Google's app thingie.

Watching a friend perform at the cafe that his friends open up to the community three times a week. He played us some pieces he composed, before just freeform improvising for awhile.

An evening walk. I had napped that afternoon and my friends meandered along this very same trail, and when I joined them a second time around, I kept making the exact same comments that they'd already made, some 3 hours earlier. The funniest part of it? They'd only met that weekend. They hit it off so well ... I just sat back and watched them at points.

Quirky cafes, as evidenced by their bathroom decor. Love! My kinda city.

I took a break from crafting for about 3 weeks. Didn't pick up a single needle, sewing or knitting or otherwise. I've got too many projects that are ~70%-98% done and none of it appealing to complete. I was reading a NYTimes article the other day about habits, about how they start with a signal and end with a reward, and it hit me that my current projects all make me feel "meh" so I don't feel like completing them because there's no reward associated with a job well done, so they just linger there and I feel zero motivation whatsoever. But it's OK. I've been writing a bit, and that's something. And this weekend I did finally pick up the knitting needles again. That's something, too.

Thank you, thoughts, and unglamorous crafting

First off, thank you everyone for your comments on my last post! Especially those of you who chimed in and said that you've experienced something similar. Because we all know our own perspective the best, I sometimes wonder whether these "truth"s that I uncover for myself are ones that are universal, or merely unique to myself. I would like to believe that there is something universally regenerative and fulfilling about creativity, crafting, meditative activities, physical activity, and that they are all connected, and judging from your comments I think this could be the case.

Of course, it could also be that those people who find joy in crafting may be more likely to find joy in cooking or walking, for example, so that these connections are only true for a subset of the general population (that's the epidemiologist in me speaking!) I'd like to believe that every person on this planet can find peace and fulfillment in some activity or another (and, my bias showing through, hopefully not just through the television!). Whether or not that involves creative and meditative activities, still trying to find those answers.

Also, I just want to say "thank you" to gypsybiscuit for delurking and leaving such a kind comment. It's really a privilage to know that people continue to stop by this blog, especially since it has evolved through the years and thus may have evolved away from what initially brought you here. The generosity of spirit that you stay because you like the person behind the blog and not just the crafts they crank out or the politically charged words that they write, that to me makes you the best readers in the world!

On to some unglamorous crafting ...


I recently joined a film cooperative and have been helping out on a couple short film projects, working on set design and coordinating wardrobes. Above is a tee that I stenciled. "Custom tee shirts? No problem, I can make you that!" followed by a mad scramble to deliver. It's actually been a ton of fun, I'm learning so much about films, and 'tis often a pretty good group of people working together on set. I love projects and working with people on creative pursuits, so this has been perfect. Although I have to say, when I was thinking of doing wardrobes I initially thought more like, period pieces, dresses from the 50s or Downton Abbey etc., and not "uh ... trying to figure out how to dress 12 guys so they all look distinctive." I'm sorry, what do men usually wear? (Thanks to Rita and Ali and my brother Michael and my friend Rudy for input + help!)


Here is a shirt I bought from an Etsy seller which was so, so cute in the photos, but unfortunately the way the inverted box pleat was positioned (left photo), I felt like it screamed "hello, did you know I have breasts?" So I unpicked the stitching to open up the pleat, resewed the button, and 3 minutes later have this fabulously girly blouse that I will actually wear. It's a beautiful blouse and wonderfully made, so I look forward to continuing to support this artist.


My Irelande sweater. I made the original to pattern but found it too short (why did I think the Cascade 220 was going to grow after blocking? It's never grown on me before). Kept having to yank it down so I didn't wear it all too often. So I grabbed the leftover yarn and added 1" of seed stitch at the hem. Perfect! So tempted to do the same at the cuffs as they are a tad short, but that would mean buying another skein of yarn just to use 25 yards. We'll see. It's workable as is.

And top photo, swapped out some boring buttons on a coat for sparklier, more vintage-feeling ones from Joann's. If I get crazy I'll shorten the sleeves to petite length, add a buckle to the belt tie to make it a proper belt, and unpick the hem to add horsehair braid to give it more of an A-line flare. Maybe not though.

Finally, more colorwork scheming is in the works. I'd love to make a vest. This would involve steeks. I am living dangerously and going patternless, using a colorwork chart improvised off a sweater on Ravelry (I know, it's so shameful but it means buying an entire Interweave magazine and paying for shipping, plus I wouldn't actually be using the pattern as it is a full-sweater fair isle sized for a gent. Seeing my fascination with fair isle, I'll likely buy a pattern directly from the designer at a future date. I'm not sure she even gets any royalties off this design anymore since its from awhile back.) Now why do I think I'll be able to figure out shaping, design, and how to do steeks on my very own???

Trying to figure out how to pattern the colors. I keep flip flopping over which combination I like best, except I've tried out the mustard-on-tan represented by the second from left and that's just not going to work. What do you think? Which would you go with?