Take 3

I have this nervous habit. OK, I have several nervous habits. But the one I'm thinking about in particular, comes about a lot when I'm procrastinating. Or thinking. Or working on a project. Or some combination thereof. I like to braid my hair.

Tiny braids. French braids. French braid pigtails. Heidi braided pigtails. I twist my fingers through the top of my hair; I weave my fingers in and out of the strands at the nape of my neck. It's an affliction, for sure, and it's been with me almost as long as I've had insomnia [since 16]. And, since recently alerting several friends to this previously secret addiction, I can't help but laugh every time my roommate walks into our dining, and there I am, braiding away.

In the middle of a bout of deadlines. And seriously, if my hair hasn't all fallen out before I get through them, I will consider it nothing short of a miracle.

Photo taken several weeks ago during my morning walk to school. Even though I was just on time out the door, I decided I would take the time to stop and capture some of the images that were brightening up my day. And even though it's kind of a crappy shot, I really don't regret stopping to do something for myself for a change. Or rather, for a hoping-this-becomes-a-new-trend-of-clearing-away-a-little-mental-space-for-myself.

Triangulation

Jacquie over at Tallgrass Prairie Studio has thrown down the gauntlet once again: clear out those WIPs for 2010! Well, I think she said it much more nicely and inspirationally, but that's the general idea. This time around, I thought I'd try, for once, to be moderately realistic about what I can and cannot accomplish, so here's my list of seven WIPs I'd like to try to finish in these next two months:

Realistically doable:
-Finish Ishbel #2 [I know, where's Ishbel #1? Waiting to be blocked, erg ...]
-Blue blouse refashion
-Ingenue sweater*

Stretch goals:
-Blue quilt [yes, the one I dragged here from CA after it lay dormant for 9 years, and still have yet to touch]
-Lisa's gift

Wow, do I really believe there are more than 24 hours in a day/I can make it on 6 hours of sleep or less:
-Black skirt refashion
-Handbag

So there we go. Let's see what happens when optimism hits reality, but for now I'm making slow progress on these.

Further proof I've gone a little batty. Remember how I don't like triangles? Well, I still don't like them [detest may be a better word], yet somehow two of the seven projects above require triangles. I love myself, I really do.

*Thanks for all the suggestions on the sweater vs. bolero debate! I agree that the sweater is a bit more casual and that it would also look good as a bolero. So while I'm girding up my courage to either tackle the actual bolero, or go scrounge up more yarn for a modified-duster-bolero, I'm knitting the Ingenue sweater from Custom Knits. November is NaKniSweMo, after all!

Subject: Random. Time stamp: 11/5, 11:21PM

I love that you dance in subway stations. and put on a million necklaces. and relish eating food.





Love you too, Rachael. For offering to sing me a song to dance to once I got started. For helping me load on all the necklaces and finding just the right combination of bling. And of course, for being my co-enabler in fooding.

Daily Outfit ...

I decided, in a shocking bout of narcissism, to photograph the outfits I wore last week, including my dress for International Wear A Dress Day [Thursday, second from right]. I'm a little doubtful that I will want to trudge through snow and slush in dress or skirt, so am definitely trying to milk the fun part of my wardrobe while it lasts.

I have to say, looking at these photos I almost feel trendy, and I never feel trendy. But dresses, and in the current length of above the knee, and maybe with a bit of an A-line silhouette that I can actually wear? Earth shattering. Thank you, China.

Minus 10

I went to pilates tonight for the first time in over a month. I slipped into class ten minutes late but oh, how I loved every minute there. It's funny, because I used to hate hate HATE working my core muscles, simply because they were the weakest part of my body. Through the years I've slowly worked through that to the point where they're decently strong, but it wasn't so much the act of toning my abdominal and back muscles [which remain some of my least favorite parts of my body, along with my arms. Haha, that doesn't leave much, does it? But in truth, my body image is so much better than it used to be] ... it was more the fact that I had made a conscious decision to clear away some time for myself, that I was going to actively forego other school activities and place my health at the top of the priority list.

Mmm. And then just lying there, doing nothing but concentrating on my breathing as I moved the exercise ball, engaged muscles, lifted and lowered my legs in deliberate, smooth motions. It was so meditative and peaceful. I just kept thinking, I need to do this more. It's funny how I know how much I love exercise, I know how good it is for you, and yet I never make enough time to do it.

At least I've gotten better about cooking for myself this semester. E. twin and I were talking about that today ~ it must be part of the cycle of learning to be a student again, what you can slowly incorporate back into your life, and when, and how. I'd imagine the same is true for most major transitions in life.

The bread above was yummy except for the fact that I forgot to add enough salt. Somehow when eyeballing 2 tsp salt, a little shake of the Morton can doesn't quite add up. Oops! So I just eat it with my hazelnut/chocolate spread I found on sale at Whole Foods. It's like Nutella but with no trans fats, and it is disappearing from the jar at an alarming rate.

NaBloPoMo!

Oops, here I am, checking in on my blog reader and realizing I totally missed the start of NaBloPoMo. Aiya. Oh, but I'll make up for it the rest of the month, won't I? *Nods vigorously.* What better way to build a writing rhythm, and also to encourage myself to stop and take photographs more often? I seem to blow hot and cold with photography, alternatively finding inspiration everywhere and feeling terribly self-conscious that my shots are mediocre at best. But maybe the best way to push through that self-consciousness is to force myself to continue taking photographs, no judgments, no self-censoring, no matter what.

Anyways. Thanks for all the button sweater love, and the great suggestions for what else I could do with the sweater/buttons/both :-). I think I'll keep it open another day or so and then pick somebody to send it too! How exciting. If I could count on myself to actually do more crafting, I'd say that I should do tons more giveaways. As it is, I should anyways. After all, crafting and this wonderful community brings incredible peace, balance, creativity, and room for growth in my life. I don't think you can underestimate the importance of that.

Mittens, Suggestions, and Sweaters

Really, I do have to keep milking these fall foliage shots while they last.


Have you read Sigrid's great account of Mitten Day? I loved it. Poignant, funny, and all sorts of, well, life just oozing out of every word she typed.

I also loved reading MAV's suggestions for handling a cold. Brilliant! I've been dealing with the lingering aftereffects of a cold myself, so this was a perfect read. Rarely does a cold knock me over and require a nap a day for an entire week, and still I'm not recovered yet. It's very odd. I know I know, my body's trying to tell me something. I am trying to listen -- why do you think I've indulged in those daily naps?

Also, I cannot decide what to knit next: this sweater or this bolero out of the white yarn I have on hand. Every Ravelrer I've seen has had major fit issues with the bolero, but for some reason I still seem to want to drive myself crazy over it. And while the sweater seemed like a dead-on choice a month ago, right now I'm wondering if I really want another hip-length cardigan/coat thingie. Thoughts?

Finally, here is a sweater that I've been tinkering with for a year now. I thrifted a 100% wool Abercrombie sweater yast year and had been toying with the idea of a button sweater for awhile so I jumped right in and, after some fussing around, creating this wavy design.

I like the idea of a button sweater. I like all the buttons on it. I loved sewing them on. I like the pop of color on gray, the slight off-beatness of it. But for some reason, I don't like wearing this sweater. I think it's the turtleneck. Rather than spend another couple years trying to get it right, I thought I'd see if it was appealing to anybody? If it is I can mail it to you. I mean, if only for the buttons, right? We all could use more buttons in our stash. And if not, then I'll just remove the buttons [yes, all of them] and put the sweater aside to felt at some point.

And if, for some reason, it's appealing to more than one person, I'll do that usual random number thingie. [For reference, the sweater is a M and fits well, I usually wear a S or XS]

Happy Halloween to all!

Almost a rainbow

The thing about the leaves here in Boston is that they change so quickly. Just one week before I shot this photo this tree was entirely green, save one little patch at the very, very top that my roommate Hana pointed out to me on a walk to the grocery store. And each day as I strode past it on the way to class - always a couple minutes later than I'd intended, no surprises there - I saw the color ripple down through the leaves until I just couldn't stand it anymore and had to stop for a photograph.


Now the leaves are almost all gone. We've had wind and rain in the intervening days, and though other trees in the neighborhood are quite pregnant with dry, rustling leaves, I can tell they will not be on this planet for many more days. Each day as I walk to school I try to tune out the thoughts that tumble through my mind, so that in the quiet I may better appreciate, and more firmly etch, these brilliant colors and tiny details into memory. I still strive for my moments of mindfulness and self-reflection; truly, they make my entire day better, and truly, I am never quite consistent enough in making time for them. These trees - their beauty - the charm of fall - demands mindfulness. If only we heed their call.

I sometimes wonder if Northeasterners and Bostonians make so much ado about the foliage and fall weather because we know what a doozy of a winter season we're in for, thus we cling to the short vestiges of beauty and that crisp feeling in the air, made all the more precious by their contrast to what is to come. Yet I remember slender, elegant and golden gingko trees in San Francisco every fall, their leaves scattered over the ground as though purposefully strewn there for the movie set of an art film. Or looking up at the 30 foot tall trees that line bike boulevard in Palo Alto as I cruised along to-and-from the fabric store in my favorite way to spend an afternoon, and taking in the brilliance of red, orange, green. All are precious memories. All have their own unique beauty.

We're in for more rain tonight and tomorrow. When we emerge, it may be a whole new world.

Thank goodness for the moments I did catch this past month! Thank goodness for mindfulness.

Touch

Accounting something or other. Real sexy reading material. So instead, let me draw your attention to that bowl of soup up in the top part of the photo. If I had it my way, I'd be sitting down to a bowl of that good stuff, toast topped with melted slivers of Gruyere and Swiss, and a scoop of sauteed kale with pepper flakes, about every other week. But of course, that would involve a heavy haul of of the heaviest of the fall harvest bounty through rain and snow, so I will just take what I can get and look back to photographs during the leaner times in the pantry.

Butternut squash-onion-apple-potato soup. With milk and nutmeg. Absolutely heavenly slipping down the throat. Best of all, the recipe was completely improvised, just me making use of the stragglers from my CSA box (no more! sigh), going off a vague memory of ingredients I'd seen thrown together in Googled recipes in the past, and magically it turned into one of my favorite soups thus far. That combination of nutmeg and onion browned in butter, I think, is the secret here.

My friends are generally of three minds about recipes. Some swear by them, some use them as starting points, some adamantly refuse, point blank, to be tethered to any predetermined combination or amount of ingredients. Personally, I love when all things in life can be approached intuitively - cooking, crafting, you name it. But as I've often discovered in this journey through learning the ins and outs of sewing, knitting, crocheting, photography, and now cooking and baking, intuition and improvisation often presume a certain basesline comfort, a home territory of experience from which to expand upon. So I'm content - for now - to stand at my kitchen counter with my laptop and Google for guidance, knowing that as I move through life, the moments such as the one above will grow in frequency and in sophistication. Just as I look back on my first tote bag or my first skirt, and I remember how much I struggled with the measurements and the topstitching and, well, everything because everything was so new, and I see how far I've come.

I wanted a pun-ish title, so I settled on: Covering body and soul. It makes the Chinese part of me happy (the puns).

You know, until I saw my roommate layer a turtleneck t-shirt under her deep v-neck sweaters, it never occurred to me that you could do that, and I was always left wondering what the heck you would do with layering turtleneck t's and those deep v-necks that are so popular these days because neither seemed very practical for cold weater. I think I'm a tad too oblivious when it comes to fashion and trends. Or survival winter dressing for freezing temperatures. Anyways. That has spurred a whole slew of new clothing combinations [and also necklace wearing, because apparently you can wear those necklaces on top of the turtleneck tees! Who knew? Obviously my roommate did because she's the one who gave me the necklace in this photo! If you can't tell, it's a giant rose and gorgeous. We both love clothes. I am going to have to come up with some nice gimmick to photograph us together sometime. You know me. There WILL be a gimmick.]



I have to admit, I rarely wear cool colors. They don't work very well with my skin tone, I find them hard to match, and after a year of living in China where they love bright and warm tones, that perspective really rubbed off on me although I think I've always loved layering warm colors and fall colors and neutrals. So when I do come up with an outfit that incorporates cool colors I really feel like I need to document it for posterity! Heh.

This post is not going anywhere deep. But one of my [renewed] goals for myself is to start writing more regularly, and this blog is a good place for public accountability so I felt like I needed to just throw up something before I got paralyzed by inaction. Writing is something that I feel like I need to do. Thanks to that lovely phase in life we call the Quarter Life Crisis, I spend a lot of time thinking about the type of contribution that I want to make to this world, and I can't help it, I keep coming back to this nagging sensation deep inside that says Jessica, you need to write. I don't care how much improvement your writing could use, writing is important to whatever contribution you could possibly make.

This is not a new sensation. Actually, let's be honest, I've felt it all my life. And saying that gives me pause, because it seems so grandiose, somehow, as though I am projecting a certain level of competence onto my writing abilities. But I also think that I process experiences differently, live more fully, come to greater understanding, and weave together strands and anecdotes and bits of understanding into a more coherent whole when I sit down to pull the words together and create sentences, paragraph, sometimes whole pages of writing. So maybe it is not the end result of writing but the process that is important.

I just, I can't help but think that if, when you were five, the 3 things you wanted to become were 1) doctor, 2) writer, 3) environmentalist that solves the world's pollution problems ... and you are obviously not going to become a doctor and you are content to tackle environmentalism on the microscale of your own life, maybe rippling out slightly to the lives of those around you ... writing still remains. Sooner or later, you need to listen to that.

So yes. I am publicly committing to doing more writing. Maybe on this blog. Hopefully there will be some interesting pictures to go along the the text, I just can't promise anything for sure. I could always take more mirror photographs of my daily outfits, of course, unless I get off my arse and go buy myself a tripod like I keep meaning to do ...