Of Late

So.  Where the heck did I disappear to and what's been going on behind the scenes?

Life
I quit my job and moved to Portland OR.  Was it terrifying to pick up for a new city where I had very few friends and no job waiting?  Absolutely.  But I was stuck, stuck, stuck in California, and I finally decided that if, at 30, I let my fears of what might happen stop me from doing what my intuition told me that I needed to do, well, then fear would increasingly rule my life.  I don't imagine life-changing decisions get easier to make as one gets older.  Facing down your fears is a bit like a muscle, it's gotta get flexed now and then or else it atrophies.  So here I am, nearly 2 months in, and every day I wake up and am glad I did it.  Yes, there are terribly lonesome moments, and also periods of great uncertainty (do I really think I'm going to find a job?  The economy is still shit and Portland is a tiny job market).  But it was what I needed, and I'm glad I did it.  Even if Portland itself doesn't stick, and I wind up moving someplace else (or moving back to CA), it was the step that was right at the time.  I think this city is going to stick, though.

Sewing
At the end of 2012, I decided stashbusting was my top priority for 2013.  I was tired of looking at stacks of fabric and feeling guilty for not using it; some people might look at a stash and see potential, I look at it and see obligation.  Seriously.  It weighs on me that I haven't sewn things up, or fast enough, and I wind up tackling projects not out of joy or inspiration, but out of this feeling that I gotta get through C, D, and E on the list so that one day I can maybe work it all down and stop feeling guilty.  Craziness!  So I culled 4 bags of fabric and donated them to a scrap reuse store, sent bundles off to friends both local and international, and then got to it.  Unblogged (and possibly never-will-get-blogged): 2 knit dresses, 4 woven dresses, 4 blouses, a PJ set, and miscellaneous household items.  And oddly enough, I haven't sewn a stitch since getting to Portland.   My machine's out, but it hasn't felt right.  I'd like to make myself a couple mini skirts for fall/winter, but we'll see if that happens.

 

Knitting
I shall always think of 2013 as the year I went crazy making socks, and the year that my friends decided to start having babies.  Who knew baby clothing was so fun to knit?  An entire garment out of a single skein of yarn?  Mind boggling.  Throw in a couple hats, finishing up an odd sweater or two, and you've got my year in knitting (to date).  Somehow, sweaters for me just feel less compelling at the moment.  I guess I've already got a little stack of hand knits that I cherish, although every time I look at colorwork, I think that I'd really love to make a colorful, intricate, fair isle sweater or two.

Other creative endeavors
I'm writing a book.  This is not one of those jubilant "I got a book deal!" kind of announcements; ever since I could read, I knew I wanted to be a writer, and finally, 25 years after my first realization, I woke up one day and realized I was ready to get on with it.  A writer is somebody who writes, regardless of whether or not they are ever published, and so I am writing the book that I wish I could have read when I was younger.  I'm taking advantage of my free time in Portland to spend lots of time thinking and journaling and freewriting and shitty first drafting and excavating notes and ploughing through old drafts.  It's exhilarating and discouraging, all at the same time, but I have never regretted the decision to take the time off to invest in this project.  I spent a lot of my 20s crafting as a way to avoid writing, but looking back, I don't think I was personally ready yet to really dig in and write, so the way I see it, I gained two incredible skillsets in the process of becoming ready :-).


What now for this space?  Not sure.  I never claimed it on Bloglovin' so I'm guessing about 3 people will see this, but likely it will be the 3 bloggers that I absolutely adore (just kidding, there are more of you that I adore, but you know what I mean!  I feel lucky to have gotten to know some really cool people through this blog!).

When I decided that I was really going to get serious about writing and not go crazy, I knew I'd have to jettison other things from my life.  Writing, personal relationships, and work (when it comes, gotta pay rent!) go at the top of the list, which means crafting falls somewhere below exercise and cooking, although I know I'll never give it up completely.  (If you're curious, writing and crafting used to be inverted!)  I find there is no better way to unwind from a hard week than to put on a couple episodes of Masterpiece and sew/knit a garment.  Maybe this will just become a regular blog - you know, documentation of life, with extra musings on creativity and creative endeavors.  Or maybe it will just fall away.  I do miss this community of people, though, so I guess we'll have to see where life takes us.

One step at a time.  Which is all we can ask for, really.

Anyhow, I hope you are all well and experiencing a good Fall!

 

Asia 2012 - postcards

Ah, more photos for you!

I was in Korea for just under a week, mostly in Seoul staying with a friend from high school, but we also traveled out of the capital city and into a smaller city called Yeosu along the coast, and from there took a boat to a small island, Sado, to spend the night and check out tiny island life in Korea.

Waiting for the boat.  Boats make the trip between a string of small islands and Yeosu, a couple times per day.  Takes those weekly grocery shopping trips to a new level, eh?

Inside the boat.  Dan and I sat in the part of the boat with seats, but the front half had bamboo mats and a cubby to store your shoes, and the women who occupied this space sat on the floor, traditional style, or, on the early morning boat, some of them lay down to rest.  Although as you can imagine, they spent so much time gossiping with one another that it wasn't really possible to rest!

You are looking at the total number of houses on the island of Sado, I kid you not.  It was incredibly peaceful and quite beautiful.  Dan and I each had a New Yorker to read, and by 9:00 we were both out cold.  There's something really comfortable about traveling with somebody you've known that long, you know?  Like, you don't have to try to make sure the other person is entertained, if you feel like lying down at 8:30 and drifting off to sleep, nobody's offended.

When planning this trip, I really wanted to see Korea and also parts of China I had never been to before, but I also wanted to take it easy and spend some time among nature, since I find I reflect and unwind best when amidst greenery, trees in particular.  So I picked out a couple small towns in the western part of Guangxi province in China to visit.  A Chinese acquaintance I made years ago on the road had said that visiting this string of tiny towns had been one of her favorite trips.  It was just what I needed.

On their way home from school.

Some days I was up early and sightseeing and then came back for a nap.  Other days I woke up and wrote for half the day, grabbed lunch, and then headed out for an afternoon hike or bicycle ride.  One of the luxuries of traveling solo, just listening to whatever you feel like doing that day and going with it.  I had no idea how I would take to being alone for two entire weeks, but I will honestly say that I loved almost every minute of it.  I was lucky enough to make a couple friends, very funny, generous, interesting people.  Seriously, I think I had the best luck on this trip!

Not sure if you can tell from the different scenery, but I visited 3 different small towns in Guangxi Province.

I sandwiched my time in rural China with trips to 2 large cities, Chengdu and Beijing, which I think was a smart way to mix things up.  I have a friend from my China days who is in Beijing now, and spending Saturday afternoon and evening with her and her boyfriend was truly the best way to wrap up my trip.  Beijing is a city quite close to my heart, and if I could have it my way I think I'd take a month sabbatical and just plop myself back into the city and take each day to reacquaint myself with just one different part of the city.  Like when we met up, we headed down to the little neighborhood that specializes in tea and teapots.  Who knew there was part of Beijing devoted entirely to tea?

What a trip!  Truly, one of the best I have ever taken.  Sometimes I close my eyes and reimagine myself back into a moment in the trip, that feeling of contentment and happiness, adventure and exploration, an entire day stretched out in front of me with no obligations and untold stories and laughter and scenes and people watching ...

Asia Trip By Numbers

Number of days gone: 21
Number of cities visited: 7
Number of old friends seen: 2
Number of new friends made: 5



Number of train rides: 2
Longest train ride: 25 hours
Number of long-distance bus rides: 6
Number of laugh-out-loud China moments: 3



Number of crazy national holidays encountered: 1 (not recommended in a country of 1.4 billion)
Number of traffic jams during sid crazy national holidays: 1
Number of new foods tried: 2 (fresh bamboo, fermented crab. I almost added horse to the list but chickened out. It was a very small town in China.)

 

Number of stitches knit: somewhere in the 20,000+ range

Number of journal pages written: 37

Number of naps taken: 5

Number of bicycle rides: 4

Number of hikes: 3

Pairs of shoes that will never quite be the same again: 2

Number of times I pretended to be photographing something else so that I could snap a shot of members of the sisterhood of knitting: 1

Couple more photos to share later!

Also, I am unofficially playing along with MMM and haphazardly snapping photos, will upload those at some point.

Happy Mothers Day!

May Photographs and MMM Reflections

I have had an on-and-off love affair with the concept behind taking a photograph daily, but I am trying it up again. To ease off the pressure, I decided to just start on a random day in April instead of making an event out of it and then psyching myself out. I keep overthinking photography and how my photos are never what I want them to be, but since I've recently been trying to turn off [or at least block out] that internal censor, instead I have been focusing on what aspects of my life, my neighborhood, my home, my day-to-day that I would want to remember in ten years. Because I can still look back on photographs from 3 years ago and recall where I was and what I was doing, and I like that.


A brief collage of some of the highlights from May. Clockwise, from top:

1. Mom and dad's visit at the Arboretum
2. Don't drink the water! [I kept forgetting when I brushed my teeth so finally my darling roommate wrote and illustrated a little note that she promptly placed in the sink. I burst out laughing when I saw it]
3. 'Dude, want to play show and tell?' subtitled 'I went to grad school and all I got was this chaote squash growing wild in my locker ...'
4. Strand Bookstore, New York
5. Snuggie Queen!
6. Picnic
7. Koreana Redux

In mimicking with the photography style of many crafting bloggers, I've noticed I tend to do a lot of still life's, a lot of close-ups, a lot of empty space filled by half of an object. And while that's cool, I'd also like to be more versatile, so I'm trying to challenge myself to take more panoramic photos [hence the ones top left and right].


Me-Made-May-Lite reflections. In my not-so-representative sampling of three crafters, it seems like tee's were a major area of RTW clothing that MMM'ers are taking a critical look at, in terms of places in their wardrobe that they can cull and replace with handmade items. I have to agree with this one, especially since I have a medium-ish number of quirky tees which I adore, but really only wear 2 of them all the time. Since I am loath to get rid of them [why is it so hard with clothes and fabric?], maybe I will refashion them into pillows and such?

Also, lots of talk around creating wardrobes that work together - most in favor of minimal wardrobes, since as many have pointed out you actually need far fewer clothes than you think! I have to say I kind of like the mix-and-match factor and will guiltily admit that I like to keep a variety of clothing on hand because what I love most about clothing is the ability to create new combinations. That said, I think it's time to diversify out of neutral t's and white button-downs and into more interesting blouses. So I've signed up for Ali's sew-along to motivate myself to whip out a couple decent blouses. And because I am not feeling like mucking around too much, I will probably use this pattern and this one, at least to start ...

Being Neighborly

Oh hey, speaking of funny improvisations for self-timed photos ...

Guess whose ideas was this???


That's right. Mine. My camera was so monster heavy it completely overwhelmed Ramin's tripod.


They are back in Iran now. Luckily I caught them a couple days before they left. Safe travels, and I hope we meet again, dear [former] neighbors! You were so wonderful to me. Now I can only hope that our governments eventually agree on something, so that we might move freely between one another's home towns.

Digging into the photography archives

[Taken early March]

A sight I hope not to see for another 7 months, at the very least.

Back again after finals. In the meantime, happy spring to all!

Briefly back in Boston

And yet, still no photos. That's because I lost my camera and eventually I will have a new one but in the meantime I am going stir crazy looking at all these great potential shots with nothing to capture them with. Bonkers, I tell you. This must be some rule of the universe - for months I was completely uninspired by photography and trying to capture photos, and the minute the inspiration returns I am without.

Then again, that period when I had just moved in to my SF apartment and lacked the furniture, really, to set up any sort of crafting space - that period drove me absolutely stir crazy as well, wanting to craft but lacking the capacity. So that when I was finally able to sit down with my sewing machine I went nuts, and actually I think my crafting progressed to a new level. Perhaps that is what will happen here, a sort of creative deprivation that foments all sorts of inspiration turbulence and the resulting churning pushes you to new heights at later points.

It's some sort of silver lining, no?

So in lieu of any photos [because we know the crafting blogs are all about the photos], I point you to this photo pairing:


Can be found over at my other [what, like fifth?] blog, beyond :: boston. I love paired photographs so much I keep wanting to do stuff like this, and this is the iteration I'm currently at [previous iterations found here and here, though I may try to keep the second one up cuz I liked the collaborative effect]. And I love little glimpses into my friend's lives [if they'll give them to me], so if you're interested just let me know ;-). Generally there's some theme to the photo but the theme can be flexible, like "take a picture that captures a moment of your day on 1.20.09" or something.

All right, my to do list is scary long today because I am flying out to Columbus, OH tomorrow. Wishing you the greatest of weekends :-)!

Hello Fall!

Gah, they like to turn the AC up indoors. Why, I'm not quite sure, given that temperatures have been dropping steadily and will only continue to do so. Maybe they're trying to keep us awake in lecture. At any rate I think I'm going to start needing those wrist warmers pretty soon. As feared my scrunchy knitted ones are probably not going to do the trick. Maybe I should start looking into all those beautiful yarns they have up for sale on Etsy ...

Let's not even ask where I've been ...

... all of a sudden I had to make decisions about schools, and then all of a sudden I was contacting people and making arrangements and away visiting, and now I'm back and 90% decided ...

Photos of the month:







This and more at the somewhat-spotty photoblog, http://www.photoblog.com/ayenforcraft

Picture of the Week

Rest of the photo-a-day can be found over at http://www.photoblog.com/ayenforcraft

Winter Week Photo Collages

My dad really hates that photo of him napping, but doesn't he look cozy under the winter quilt I finally got around to finishing? At long last all the hand quilting is in place, and my mom's itching for a new project ... I can't churn out the quilts fast enough. I even dreamed about different quilt tops I wanted to create for her.

More photos of the cheery parent-house-Christmas-decorations to come.

Winter Photos, Day 1 Collage

We're trading off coming up with the themes for the week, so I chose "Winter" for this week. Kinda fun.

My goodness the holidays are right around the corner! Maybe its because I just started a new job but it doesn't quite feel that they are so close. Maybe its also because I don't really get much of a holiday - 2 four day weekends at home, I guess I can't really complain. Its what I got last year as well, and besides, I rather enjoy work. Today I took my first call and was discombobulated as heck. Of course, I am nothing if not a tactile learner, learning best by example and even best-ER by mistake.

Most of my family and friends don't really do gifts for the holidays. We prefer to take the time we'd normally take to shop for one another, and just spend that time together instead. Of course, my friends are kinda scattered all over the place this year, so I'm not even sure how many people I'll get to see. I guess that's the way life flows in this day and age.

Jessica; Tuesday

I'm not quite sure what exactly to make of "this day and age." Surely it confers many advantages to us, but while I've loved all the opportunities for exploration, growth and self-knowledge that I have gained in the process, I have to say, there's something moorless, unsettled, about my life as well, almost as though I am a ship drifting out at sea, wandering different harbors, occasionally coming back to home base but having been gone for so long, no place is really quite "home" anymore. As though my sense of "home" is fractured over a million different places, so that every place is a tiny bit familiar, and none completely so. The more you know the more you gain, but at the same time the less any one place [or person] can completely satisfy you or completely understand you.


Which is one of the reasons that having Alex in my life recently has made me a lot calmer. This relationship has eased a lot of the lows in life. Sure, some of them are still there, but the intense brooding, the cynicism, the bouts of depression and vague plagueings of loneliness have largely subsided. All those "dark" sides that I rarely share with anybody, preferring instead to display the quirky, optimistic, laughing, childlike amusement side of myself to others. I have lived with myself long enough to know how to handle this side of me; on the other hand, he gives me a mental space that is free from those anxieties, or at least a safe place to work through them. He provides me with a safe harbor to return to at the end of the day, even if we can only talk on the phone for a couple minutes.

I know it is probably super cheesy and corny and possibly a tad bit unwise to air your feelings to the general public, but I know that very few people read this anyways, and sometimes it is nice to put into words what you have been thinking for quite some time. Every blog and every blogger adopts a certain voice, a particular persona that may be completely indicative of the person in real life or not at all [I'm pretty sure my various blogs all have a slightly different "sound"], and sometimes I may wax poetic on here and sometimes I may bite out sarcasm or ironic amusement at my own follies, but ultimately, this blog captures little glimpses of my life that would otherwise be lost.


A celebration of nature and beauty and a certain way of seeing the world, a developing aesthetic, a certain sensibility that bridges multiple arenas and disciplines, a celebration of certain values and of the DIY culture, a place to share my creations and thought processes with a larger audience, I believe that is how I first envisioned it. Far from achieving that, I am nonetheless happy with how it reflects the changes I have undergone this past year and some odd months.

Winter Flowers: Day 3, 4

Day 3.

Day 4.
Just in time.

Winter Flowers Project: Days 2, 3, 4

Tuesday:
Alex

Jessica

Wednesday:
Alex
Jessica

Thursday:
Alex
Jessica


Collages to come when I get the chance to put them together. Or check out

http://craftyyoshi.tabulas.com/

for more creativity and lovely project collages.

Winter Flowers Project: Day 1 collages

My knowledge of Paint is limited, but just tonight I discovered the "Invert Colors" button ...



I guess I chose the pink flowers, didn't I? They just seemed to lend themselves to this much better. Initially I was going to overlay Alex's golden poppy with my pink flowers because it seemed like that would make for interesting lines, but I haven't gotten that far in Paint just yet. Or maybe I need a new program.

Winter Flowers Project: Days 1 and 2

This week our photo collaboration centers around flowers, per Alex's suggestion [lovely! winter flowers!] For Day 1 I was torn between 2 photos that I took. Usually I am pretty good about ruthlessly cutting through the fat to the one picture that I feel is strongest, but this time it was difficult ...

and

I really like the little bug in the first photo, which I didn't even notice when I was taking the shot. I like how it is dead center in the shot and your eye, which is immediately drawn to the glowing yellow trumpet shape of the flower, zeroes in on that little bug detail, and then you notice a little background information about where you are and such. But I really love the composition of photo 2, and the color combination is nice. It is also a little less technicolor-ish. On the other hand, all my photos tend to be composed along similar lines to photo 2, which makes photo 1 a little more unusual for me.

Day 2. I even turned off the 'vibrant color' option on my camera. It was cold but bright today. I don't know why, recently the sun has felt especially strong, as though I need my sunglasses now more than ever ... in the dead of winter? Why?

Collages to come when I decide which photo to use for Day 1, and when Alex sends me his photo for today ...

Alex, Day 1. Isn't that beautiful?